About terrestrial gravity

A sergeant explains to young soldiers a gist of Earth gravity:
-  If to throw a stone upwards, then it drops to the ground. This means, that the terrestrial gravity effects it.
One of the soldiers asks:
-  What if it drops into water?
-  It doesn’t refer to us. This problem is considered by fleet.

At exam

An examiner asks a student:
-  What is your name ?
-  John Smith, sir.
-  Why do you smile ?
-  I’m satisfied with my answer for the first question.

An excellent work

A teacher returns a pupil his work:
-  Not a single mistake was made! Johnny, tell me honestly, did anybody help your father ?

Valid reason

A teacher asks a pupil:
-  Why does your father make home tasks for you every day ?
-  Because my mother is always busy.

Study, sonny

-  Dad, I’m expelled from the college.
-  Don’t weep, I’ll buy you a new college.

School’s news

-  Were you asked at school today ?
-  Yes, I was.
-  What about ?
-  Why are you always absent at the parents’ meetings ?

Business-like conversation

-  Uncle Bill, I need to tell you something.
-  Well, but tell briefly and clearly.
-  100 dollars, please.

General disaster

Two boys went to a doctor.
-  What do you complain about ? – the doctor asks.
-  I swallowed 50 cents. – one of  the boys answered.
-  And why do you weep ? – the doctor asks the other boy.
-  This is my money.

Fast calculation

A teacher asks:
-  Tommy, find please a sum of these two numbers.
-  But I didn’t lose it, sir.

About inertia

-  Johnny, give an example of inertia.
-  A car has stopped, but a driver is going farther.

                                -------

-  What is an inertia force ?
-  A ball is flying to a window and it’s impossible to catch it.

An essence answer

At an arithmetic lesson a teacher asks:
-  How many will it remain, if to subtract 1 from 100 ?
-  Two zeros.

Fast solution

A teacher of mathematics writes an equation on a blackboard and calls a pupil:
-  Billy, find  x  please.
-  I have found, here it is! – the pupil answers and shows to  x  with a finger.

Working week

-  A cow gives 20 liters of milk a day. How many liters of a milk is it possible to get for a week ?
-  But we don’t know, how many days a week a cow works.

Physics news

As it’s known, the famous Albert Einstein tried to solve the problem of time-space unity during last twenty years of his life and didn’t solve it. However this problem was solved recently by sergeant Brown. He drew up a platoon of soldiers and ordered them to dig a ditch from fence till dinner hour.

New in geometry

-  How is the biggest side in a right-angled triangle called ?
   As all the pupils keep silent the teacher begins to help:
-  Hy-po-…
-  Hippopotamus !

New definition of fraction

A teacher of mathematics:
-  If to take one tomato and to cut it by 4 parts, then each lobule is one fourth part of a tomato. Now do you understand what is a fraction ?
-  Yes, it is a part of salad !

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