Continue the sequence: z, o, t,
S o l u t i o n . As z = zero, o =
one, t = two, the continued sequence is:
z, o, t, t, f, f, s, s, e, n, t,
the parents’ meeting
At the parents’ meeting a teacher of mathematics
complains of his pupils to their parents:
- Your children are very dull. Today I explained them a new theorem. I explained once, they didn’t understand. I explained
once again, they didn’t understand. I explained the third time, I understood myself, but they still didn’t understand.
At a geometry lesson a teacher asks to draw an
isosceles triangle. One of the pupils draws it. The teacher:
- Now prove that this triangle is really isosceles.
- Sir, I give you a word of a gentleman.
One absent-minded professor composed a daily time-table
and showed it to his assistant. The assistant looked it through and said:
- Very well, but your day consists of 25 hours.
- What a pity! Now I must wake up one hour earlier.
At a mathematics exam a professor asks a student
to calculate the limit:
The professor is surprised:
- What is it ? Why ?
The student answers:
- You explained at your lecture that
and I have used this example.
The shortest telegrams in a history
German mathematician Dirichlet was very taciturn.
When his son was born, he sent to his father-in-law the following
Maybe it’s one of the shortest telegrams in the history. But the
shortest telegram conversation ever was between Oscar Wilde and his
publisher regarding his new book. O. Wilde wired the single
character “?” and received from his publisher the reply: “!”.
At a chemistry exam a professor asks a student:
- Tell me please, how to get sulphur.
The student answers:
- Let’s take hydrogen sulphide and warm it up. Hydrogen
evaporates and sulphur remains.
- Very well. I put you an “excellent” and warm it up. A
“good” and a “fair” evaporate and a “poor” remains.
Euclid was asked:
- What do you want: two whole apples or four halves ?
- Four halves, of course.
- Why ? It’s the same, isn’t it ?
- No, it isn’t. Choosing two whole apples, I can not see
if they are maggoty or aren’t.
Friends of Leibniz gave him as a present his bust,
made by famous sculptor, on his birthday. Leibniz stared at the
bust for a long time and then said:
- So, this is a face, which I shave every day.
One woman asked Einstein to remember her telephone
- It’s very easy. 19 squared and 7 cubed.
A teacher of algebra said to Einstein’s father:
- I have never met a duller child.
A sergeant teaches young soldiers:
- Water boils at 90 degrees.
One of the soldiers retorts:
- I’m sorry, sir. But I know that water boils at 100 degrees.
- Okay, I’ll check, - the sergeant answered.
The next day the sergeant says:
- You were right. Water boils at 100 degrees, I mixed up
with a right angle.
method of fast calculus
Two Englishmen are going by train. A conversation
isn’t getting on. The train passes a meadow, on which a herd of cows pastures.
One of the passengers says:
The other man is surprised, but gives no answer. In some time
the train passes another pasture. The first passenger says:
His neighbor brakes and asks:
- Sir, our train moves at speed 60 miles per hour. How can you
count so quickly ?
- Oh, sir, it’s very simple! First I count a quantity of legs
in a herd and then I divide this number by four.
Father writes a letter to his son-student:
I send you 50 dollars, as you asked. By the way remember please
that the number 50 is written with one zero, but not with two.”